ひぐらしのなく頃に (Higurashi no Naku Koroni)

振り向いた　その後ろの　（正面だぁれ？）
暗闇に爪を立てて　（よるを引き裂いた）

雨だれは血のしずくなって頬を
つたい落ちる
もうどこにも帰る場所が無いなら

この指止まれ　私の指に　
その指ごと　連れてってあげる　
ひぐらしが鳴く　開かずの森へ　
後戻りは　もう出来ない

ひとりずつ　消されてゆく　（蒼い炎）
暗闇の　その向うに　（朝はもう来ない）

鏡の中で　蠢き伸ばしてくる無数の手で
さぁ　誰かをここへ誘いなさい

鬼さんこちら　手を鳴るほうへ　
どんなに逃げても　捕まえてあげる　
ひぐらしが鳴く　けもの道から　
聞こえていた声はもう無い

この指止まれ　私の指に　
その指ごと　連れてってあげる　
ひぐらしが鳴く　開かずの森へ　
後戻りは　もう出来ない

鬼さんこちら　手を鳴るほうへ　
どんなに逃げても　捕まえてあげる　
ひぐらしが鳴く　けもの道から　
聞こえていた声はもう無い

(Translation)
Behind where I looked back; (Who's in the front?)
In the dark, I raised my claws (and slashed apart the night)
The raindrops turn into droplets of blood and travel down my cheeks
If no place for me to return to exists anywhere anymore

Take these fingers, my fingers
I'll take all of your fingers away
To the unopenable forest where cicadas cry
I can't turn back anymore

Being made to disappear one by one; (the blue flames)
On the other side of the dark, (the morning won't come anymore)

Inside the mirror, with countless wriggling and stretching hands
Come on, lure someone here

Oni-san, come here, to where my hands sound
No matter how you'll get away, I'll capture you
From the animal trail where cicadas cry
The voice that I heard is no more

Take these fingers, my fingers
I'll take all of your fingers away
To the unopenable forest where cicadas cry
I can't turn back anymore

Oni-san, come here, to where my hands sound
No matter how you'll get away, I'll capture you
From the animal trail where cicadas cry
The voice that I heard is no more

Simple Plan-----Untitled

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how I can't remember why I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

(Chorus) How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

(Chorus)

I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

The Mathematical adventure in Canada continues...

that is when I recover from the jet-lag :P

12 hours more

In another 12 hours or so, I will leaving for Canada. So long, my friends. Do take care and hope to see you all next year.

Power of Words

Words are ferocious beasts. Even if you only say it once, you can't take your words back. You can't ignore them either. No matter how unaware a person is of his/her self-inflicted limits, he/she will continue to use words. Words are alive and they have the power over our roles of lives. Finally, words do not only affect the one using them...

The above paragraph is some quotes (I edited a bit) I saw from animes. I believe many of you should have experiences with words. I will give a few examples below.

"2.4 km run sure cannot pass even if I train."

"I don't think I will do well for this subject. Just hope for the best."

"I don't think I will be able to understand this stuff no matter how many times I go through it."

Sounds familar? When someone starts moulding such thoughts into words, these words will become chains that tie the person down. I believe many of you (me inclusive) should have such experiences, getting yourself tied down by the chains you constructed before you even attempt something. However the power of words is not only restricted to obstructing your life. The usage of chains is not restricted to tying one down, they can also be used for connecting and tying things up. By looking forward and speaking positively, one can make a difference.

However, words do not only affect the one using them. Sound strange but true. Words from others may come in the form of advices which will have certain effects on your decision in life. Good luck to you if the advices are bad. Words from others may also come in the form of compliments or degrading remarks which will affect you either emotionally or physically, inspire you to greater height or condemn you to the darkest depth.

Finally, I will like to say that you are responsible of your own actions, whether you are the user of words or not; whether your words will affect yourself or others, or whether you allow yourself to be tied down by others people's words.

10

It is always hard to come to term with oneself when such a time comes. It seemed like only a while ago I came back to Singapore and now I will be leaving in another 10 days or so.

Time is a very strange entity. It always looks different. I still recalled that when I began starting something for instances first day in JC, NS, NUS, McMaster etc, it looks like a long and neverending passage to walk. When I came to the end of the process, upon looking back, I couldn't help but to think that time is a fleeting moment, gone before you are even fully awared of it.

At this instance, I am seeing the two faces of time-the fleeting moment due to my soon-to-end of the stay here and the neverending path that is waiting for me in Canada. A very nostalgic feeling perhaps...one that I have experienced many times. Joy? Sorrow? I have no idea but what I am sure of is that I will exerience this in the future. So till then, looking forward to the day.

11 and counting down

Left with less than 11 days before flying back to Canada...will miss the three f-things in Singapore-family, friends and food.

Rotting physically, mentally, financially, spiritually, morally

It has been some time since I posted something. Anyway, as the title of this post suggested, I have been rotting. Basically, life for the past two weeks revolves mainly around the world cup.
But all these will be over soon on Monday morning, when the final match is played. I hope that France will lose. Make them wake up their idea. They should start developing their youth team like Germany and Spain instead of relying on the old guards, else next euro/world cup will just become a replay of the 2002 and 2004.

I haven't been doing Mathematics ever mid June. Maybe it's time I should start to do at least some light reading, before I get too lazy.

A lot of friends which I met these past few weeks have asked some common questions to me. That is when my course is finishing. FOUR years! In other words, I will finish my studies in 2010. Four years look very long. However time is something that passes very quickly, no matter how distant it looks. And finally the ultimate question of all, what am I aspiring to become after I finish my course? This is a very hard question which I myself do not readily have an answer. The ideal situation will of course to get a job in some university which allow me to do research.

Of course, the response from friends is "You can do it la, afterall you got 1st class honours". Perhaps before I went oversea, I might lean back on that statement for comfort. However during my one year in McMaster, I realized that the statement will yield more discomfort.
Because the 1st class is only based on general mathematics. To do research, you need more than good grades. In the courses we take, we are only tested in problems solving and the problems are given to us. In research, you need to find problems yourself and the topics you work on have to be something of interest to the Mathematics community or at least the people of your specialization.

Well I guess I should not complain too much. After all, it was I who chose this path. In the end, I am a consequence of my own actions with a little of other extras from others, whether I like it or not.